Sunday, June 9, 2013

What the Puck!

I read The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater and it was so freaking good that I wanted to mare-e her.

It was so good I wanted to throw it inside a tortilla, slap on some guac, and eat it.

It was so good that if I was in high school and needed a date for prom, I'd ask it.

If I had to chose between reading The Scorpio Races and Jessica Alba holding me like a baby and looking into my eyes, I'd pick...ugh, this is a tough one. I'd pick Jessica Alba holding me like a baby while reading The Scorpio Races. Boom!

There are so many things right with this book.

Seriously, don't tell anyone, but I would go skinny dipping with The Scorpio Races.

The world created in the story was as original as original can be, but there was NEVER a time that I was confused. I was never trying to figure out how the world worked, or how something was possible. I simply accepted, without question, that there is an island in my world where magical horses come out of the ocean. I actually caught myself thinking, "Hmmm, I wonder where this island is...I should go see these horses."

The characters were great. I liked Sean Kendrick. I liked that he was "the man" when it came to the magical horses known as Caolsifjisjlsjs Ushuksinks, or whatever. I liked that he had Puck's back when the townsfolk were demanding that she remove herself from the magical horse race. I loved the emotion of that scene. I loved that Puck didn't back down. And I loved that Sean was attracted to Puck's determination and courage, and not her boobs.

Here's the thing: I really don't like animals.

I like them on T.V., and I like to see them at the zoo every once in a while, but I don't like them as part of my life. If they're cute and cuddly, fine, but soon they will piss on you. If they're larger than life, like a lion, great, but soon they will eat you. They stink, they shit everywhere, they eat things that aren't food, they gnaw on things, they wake you up at night, and so on.

I know I'm not making any friends right now, but my point is this: Even though I had to read about smelly horses that eat people, I still freaking loved this book!

(And just so you weird cat people don't hate me forever, there are two cats that live in my house and I even pet them once in a there.)

You should read this book. It's so refreshing. No cliches, no bad boys, no girls that think bad boys that treat them badly are "so hot." Barf.

Great scenery, characters, plot, emotion, and just the right amount of romance.

At least read it for its originality.

After reading Shiver I was reluctant to read more of Maggie Stiefvater's books, but now I'm sold. Looks like The Raven Boys will stay on my list.

I give The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater an easy 9 out of 9 magical horse turds. I know that might sound bad, but it isn't. Trust me.


  1. Awesomesauce

    I have a copy and it's been sad and neglected for a while now - even thought about giving it away recently but I heard it crying and let it stay on the shelf.

    Now? Totally reading the hell out of it very soon!

    Thanks :)

  2. One of my favorite books (the audiobook is QUITE captivating). And I don't really like animals either! Your secret is safe.

  3. YES! If you loved this, you'll love The Raven Boys!

  4. YES!!!! I've been waiting for your review, and I'm so glad you loved it. She is one amazing writer. The Raven Boys is very very different kind of book, and still awesome.

  5. And I thought I was the only one that contemplated visiting Thisby...

  6. Aww... your cats must love you. I'm sure the random pets every once in a while are extra meaningful. ;) hahaha I've been wanting to read this for a while... maybe now I will. First I gotta wait for the stench to dissipate. You've inspired smelly horses mixed with cat piss. Have u read The Raven Boys? I have the first and second, but have heard mixed things so have been putting it off!

  7. Yay, I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this one! The Scorpio Races is my favorite Maggie Stiefvater novel. I felt like the setting was atmospheric and it had great characters, I was really rooting for both Puck and Sean. The writing in Maggie's other books are a little different from this one but I hope you still enjoy reading them.

  8. Bwahaha, great review. So glad you enjoyed it. We think SCORPIO RACES is the pinnacle of Maggie's writing so far, but RAVEN BOYS has a lot going for it too. Hope you like that too!

  9. You added that cat comment in there for me, DIDN'T YOU?!

    I love when you love books, because even if I am feeling hesitant about them, you make me want to run and read them ASAP!! I do own this one now and do plan on reading this summer. I read her other series and did not love it, so I have been wary!

    I trust you though, 9 out of 9 magical horse turds is hard to pass up.

    1. Honestly, I did think of you when mentioning cats. You're such a cat lady.

  10. I read a preview for this book a while ago. It sounds interesting, but the description of the horses totally threw me off.
    I feel as though I can trust you though...magical horse turds???? I think the key word here is "magical". Right?
    P.S. I have four cats.
    Dont hate me!

    1. Magical horse turds are the opposite of regular horse turds. So, it's all good. :)

  11. one of my favorite books EVER. Glad you enjoyed!

  12. This book is just plain awesome. I, like you, was not sold on werewolf romance, and though killer water horses were going to be even weirder, and then it was just awesome. The Raven Boys is great too!

    Love your funny reviews.

  13. Ya know, I haven't read her Shiver series yet but I ADORED The Raven Boys and The Scoripo Races. You're absolutely right, you just don't question any of the mythology behind Maggie's strange world because it seems so authentic and real. I love how there's no insta-love to be found here and that no matter how good the good guys are, they are still flawed. She's such an incredible storyteller although I do wish there were more killer water horses.

    A really macabre part of me wanted more carnage (so sue me!).

  14. I loved The Scorpio Races! The Shiver trilogy wasn't my favorite but this book was beyond good. I made three of my friends read it immediately after I finished it. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I have yet to read The Raven Boys.

  15. HAHAHA, best opening of a review ever.

    Also, if you like smelly horses that eat people (and by like, I mean, you can hate them without people wanting to throw rocks at your person), you should check out Diana Peterfreund's Killer Unicorns series, assuming you haven't already.

    I've read four of Maggie's books, and DNFed a fifth, but I have to at least try this one before I give up on her. *crosses fingers*

  16. I haven't been able to get past the first chapter in The Raven Boys, but The Scorpio Races is one of my all-time favorites of all books in all the shelves in all the world. I was just going to lurk & not comment, but seeing your insta-love for this book sucked me into the comment box.